Thursday, April 1, 2010

Onward, Captain!

Hello all,

Rob here. It has been awhile. I wanted to check in with a general update

As many of you know, Jacob is gaining more independence--driving himself, wanting to go to appointments alone, probably graduating high school soon. I remember back in July or August, I was thinking about what it would be like to watch Jacob recover. It would not be like setting a broken bone--one day, everything is just all better. It is a very gradual process. Thus, it is very unreal. I don't know at what point to say, "Praise the Lord, he's back to normal!" What is normal? Things are completely different. About every two weeks I get this pang in my gut as I think about what things used to be like--and realizing that I still haven't fully processed what has happened.

Then there's this blog. In talking with my dad, we agree that there is not much use in posting immediate updates about Jacob (well, I admit, all along updates on Jake have been saturated in our own thoughts and struggles). He is not in critical condition, he is on his own, maybe he can even start posting blogs about whatever he wants. However, we still see this blog as a good step toward creating a network of support for critical medical emergencies and families in those situations. So maybe it will become a type of forum website for support.

Whatever the case, I am in the process of starting my own blog, specifically related to some thoughts, ideas and conversations that have been brewing in my life.

I say this because all of you who follow this blog have a very special place in my heart because of the community and support found in expressing myself here this past year (almost). I want to include as many of you as possible in the conversations on my new blog.

I look back and see God's hand over this last year--in the midst of the strife, leading us to where he wants us to be. Jacob is far down the road to recovery... my Dad is exploring direction for his employment/family life... Jensen is exiting grade school (!)... my Mom is working at his school again... and I have no doubt that many of you find yourself in unique and exciting places in your own story--some of your stories inextricably tied to ours. Making a new blog is a "next step" for me.

Life ebbs and flows in phases, endless complexities. As the distance between the present and June 28th, 2009 ever increases, I have begun to embark into cautious optimism in the face of struggle, doubt and apathy, communicated well by one of my current top songs:

The Captain, by Guster

I've come down with something
I'm frozen, tied up, cast in lead
It's simple, so says the captain
Face forward, move slow, forge ahead

I'm earning a reputation
My conscience, mistrust, and regret
Courageous, just like the captain
Marching forward, with no doubt in his head

Onward
Onward
Onward
Onward

Blessings,

Rob (Jake's brother)