Friday, January 29, 2010

lots of stuff - forward motion

First and foremost I apologize for not passing along sooner the website for David Carson: www.getwelldavid.com. David is in Idaho and is making some significant strides but continues to definitely need continual prayer support.

On the left hand side of this blog I have tried to find a good way to list the links. There are those that need our critical prayers as did our family as Jacob hung on to life. There are also those that need our continual prayers as they encounter rehabilitation and adaptation from their life-altering injuries. Please continue to hold them up as a community and pass on the prayers to others. It is an amazing privilege to write to them and confidently say that the Jacob's Journey Community (of which I do not know how many) are praying for them.

I also want to acknowledge and thank the dental staff of Drs. Ali Heidari and Ramin Moradi in Aptos. They have been such a tremendous help to our family and our own dental needs as well as whitening teeth as a way to help us out financially. They are a wonderful and amazing group of people and I know will continue to be a blessing to all they meet.

As you already know, Jacob's last dosage of Vancomycin was administered Monday night. Wednesday his picc line has become another souvenir. Jacob was more excited about not having to have the antibiotic bottle hanging from his arm for 3 hours a day than the actual removal of the picc line. But it is so nice to see his arm free and to not have my socks cut up any more. (Debbie cut up tube socks to make bands to go over his arm - it kept the picc from dangling on his arm.) So Jake, being infection free now for over two weeks is able to move forward with his head surgery. We have a pre-op appointment for February 9th!!!

So currently we are praying for infection to remain away from Jacob and that all would remain on course for surgery to happen as soon as possible.

Jacob and I had an interesting discussion about his thumb yesterday. He honestly has been frustrated with it and has been talking about just wanting it to be removed. He even began researching prosthetic thumbs which we were told did not exist - you can find anything on Google. We even talked about a friend Darren who could make him something. He actually had a good point in that the thumb and its infection was keeping him from moving forward and that at the end of it he will just have an ugly looking thumb that does not bend. For me it produced guilt as I remembered standing there in his room as he was in a coma praying for the Lord to spare his life, spare his arm, spare his thumb. So many have prayed for his thumb and for me it is the evidence of miracle, mercy, grace. God answered our prayer - and it continues to blow me away. Should I not have asked for this? Was my prayer selfish? Did my prayer and God's answer increase Jake's pain?

God's view is so much greater than mine. And I hold closely to this - His answers are perfect. The waiting that we have suffered through and the time that it has taken for healing continues to build and grow strength in Jacob and in us all. It feels like we can finally begin to see the fog lifting on the "waiting" period and begin to stride toward what is next. Jake is able to use his hand more and more and it seems - he made a fist with his right hand today and amazed me at how much he can close his hand.

We are moving forward. Debbie is going to back to work part-time next week. Another big adjustment but we all agree it is time. She has given so much to be Jake's nurse and loves to be at Mountain School. Robbie starts classes next week and Jensen continues to do so well. So for me, Jake and I will spend more time together as I become the primary one to take him to appointments. I am also taking steps to move in my career search. God has flamed a vision that I have had for a while and I am taking steps toward that. I will share more as I move forward but part of my passion is to surround those encountering tragedy as we have been surrounded and lifted up.

It is time to move forward. Jake and I met with his teacher at school on Thursday. Afterward Jake was able to stop by Wood Shop to say hi to some friends and the teacher. It was so good for me to see Jake moving back toward where he is suppose to be and to see others so excited to see him. We have been and are so incredibly blessed.

the torment of my soul consumed me
the anguish of my heart bound me
thrown deep into a pit my cries were mute

yet you o Lord stood beside me
holding me close mending my soul, my heart
you heard my cry before it was uttered

recovery is rocky and steep
the scars limiting my movements
paralyzing fear never far away

yet you o Lord stand with me
hold me close - mend my soul, my heart
hear my cry, remove my fear

Grace and peace in abundance,

Tom (daddy)

2 comments:

Tom Kirkendall said...

David's link has been corrected. To clear up any confusion...yes please continue to pray for Jake's thumb and for our continued trusting in the presence and plan of God!

Einbildungskraft said...

I have a good friend who a couple of years back lost the top part of his thumb while doing some carpentry work (just about where nail ends)-- just the loss of the small part of the thumb has been a negative experience for him, because it is used so much, helping out in ways we don't even think about. Think very carefully about such a step, live with it for a few years is what I counsel, before making such an important decision which might be made now out of frustration~ I would think that a thumb that doesn't bend is better than none at all....