Saturday, January 16, 2010

Like chasing a mirage...

It is Saturday. Taking a sick day. A lot has happened in the last couple of days and then again nothing really has happened or at least changed. 

Thursday was a very full day. Jake and I left here in the morning and had back-to-back appointments. I am amazed to watch his progress in therapy. His coordination, strength and stamina are at I would say 70%. I think what holds him back the most is that he is not able to fully use his right hand (he is right handed). It is still covered with a formed plastic splint to protect his thumb. In theory it should help him use it a bit more but it also gets in the way. Plus his fingers still feel weird. He was describing it has this continuous electric shock feeling. The fingers are sensitive. He is using it more and more - but still uses his left hand for most things - even chopsticks left handed! 

Thursday night was Aptos-La Selva Fire District awarding Captain Greg Hansen "Fireman of the Year". It was so wonderful to watch as the standing room only crowd gathered to appreciate this hero. I kept wondering what would happen with all these firefighters in the district board room as this crowd exceeded the fire capacity. As the representatives from the Aptos Veterans of Foreign Wars presented Greg with his plaque, I was surprised by a couple of things. First that he was being awarded this for saving Jacob. Okay that probably should not have surprised me but I assumed it was for other things. As we have been able to get to know Greg a little bit, it is without question that this man is a rock, a stable leader and true servant. But that is what led me to my next surprise: this is his third time being recognized as "Firefighter of the Year!!!!!" 

What led Greg to risk his own life is what defines his character - truly valuing human life. He saw Jacob lying their in excruciating pain and crawled on his belly to free Jake from the 21,000 volt power line. As you can imagine I wanted more than just a 15 minute presentation - I wanted a huge celebration with speeches and stories. I wanted his partners who were with him, Scott and Ryan, to share and to be recognized as well. Greg always quickly defers any attention that he gets to others - the sign of a true hero. These are amazing men and I am proud to know them. God had the perfect team together that night to respond to the 911 call. The greater reward for Greg is for him to see Jacob alive and healing and growing stronger - able to continue with his life. His sacrificial expression of love resulted in life. We need more "Gregs" in this world. 

It is good - imperative - to remember that we have life to be thankful for because often just dealing with things in life can be so discouraging. We received a phone call from the neurosurgeon' s office to reschedule the pre-op appointment that we had scheduled for next Tuesday. It was not surprising but so discouraging. Jake's thumb and the possibility of infection is delaying the head surgery. It feels like we are chasing a mirage. We can see it in the distant but as we move toward it it moves farther away. Yes we know still that God is in control and the reasons - very good reasons - for putting it off, but it is hard. The waiting period continues and continues and continues. Again I come back to what I can see is so limited - yet God's vision knows no boundaries. The shadow I see in the distant that seems to be clear is so small, so slight, so worthless. Yes worthless. I constantly run the danger of seeing things as how I want to see them. What I see in the distant - the mirage - the picture of what I think should be going on - should not be my focus. 

Keep your eyes on the goal; Jake's surgery is not the goal. At least it is not the primary all encompassing goal. God is the goal. His plan, His presence, His impact on our lives. But just like his disciples waiting for Jesus to come back after his resurrection, we can't just sit there and stare at the sky waiting. Wait with action. We need to continue to move forward and be faithful for what God has given us...and wait for what is next. 

So that brings us to Friday - Jake and I did some schoolwork and then went and saw Avatar in 3D. His first movie in a theater since his accident. We enjoyed our time together. Sitting at Armadillo Willy's Jake brought up his appointment on Tuesday. I had not told him yet that the pre-op appointment was postponed. I felt horrible as it sunk in with him and sat dumbfounded for words to console. We still wait and we keep our eyes on God. His plan is bigger, better and much clearer. 

It is now football weekend and I am sick...but so thankful to be here with Jacob and for his continual strength and growth. The best is yet to come. 

Grace and peace, 

Tom (daddy)

1 comment:

Noree said...

What a
Bless, bless, bless...
Still walking with you on this journey.