Thursday, January 21, 2010

Forward Motion

I am sitting in a coffee house in Aptos. Jake and Debbie headed out to appointments. I dropped Jensen off at school and then headed down to meet with Jake's teacher. It has been quite a couple of weeks. Robbie had his wisdom teeth out and is recovering at home. Jake had to share the nurses for a little bit. Robbie heads out next week for school in LA. Boy will that be a shock to our family to have him gone again. What a blessing it has been for all of us to be together for over a month.

Though we are still in this eternal waiting period we are still in forward motion. Stronger and stronger day by day. Faith is measured less by leaps and bounds than in steps - sometimes the smallest of steps but it is still forward motion. There are times that the faith we hold on to is put to a test that requires leaps and bounds but these are also the times that we also use our hands to grip and grab and perhaps even crawl forward. The point is that we continue to move forward. As I have said before and hold onto, getting out of bed can be a step of faith.

One of the big things that God is teaching me lately is that I need to hold firmly to the vision/passion that he has placed within me. I need to move forward to pursue these confident that this is my call and that there is a reason he has brought me through all of these experiences (good and bad). That is so tied up in who I am and the hope that I have. I see this in each of my sons. My role is less about telling them what to do than in fanning the flame of who they are and who they are becoming. I was mourning a bit the other night thinking that we are out of the child stage - Jensen is now an emerging teen. While it is sad it is the growth that is exciting...staying the same or going backward is not what we are meant to do. It is exciting to watch and to come alongside as each of my sons find their own voice and their own call and their own passion. May I not get in the way.

And I do honestly get in the way. My fear and insecurity get in the way of who they are emerging to be. I say no far too often (Robbie imitates me quite well, shaking my head and jowls). My "no" is fear - all the more heightened by Jake's injury - of what might or could happen.

As we move each day closer to Jake's surgery, I pray that we would continue to move forward. That Jake's thumb would heal the last 10% and that the head surgery would come quickly - in God's timing of course - but a little sooner would be nice.

Peace and Hope,

Tom (Daddy)

1 comment:

Captain Kirk(endall) said...

I could probably do an even better impression now with my swollen cheeks!