Sunday, December 6, 2009

Where we are at...

It is Sunday morning and it is so very very quite right now. Jake and Debbie are still asleep and Jensen spent the night at a friends. We had plans to get up and go to church this morning but it looks like it just might be me...mornings are hard for Jake to get going. I wonder too if weekends are hard for him knowing that he is still stuck with Mom and Dad. We took him down to the village last night and had a good time together but what 17 year old wants to go out on a Saturday night with his parents?

Looking back on the week I think we made some overall good steps. He is moving better and getting stronger. I have been asked some questions so I wanted to clarify some things on Jake's condition:
1. He is in school - finishing his senior year at Aptos through an internet based classroom and monitored by the independent studies teacher.
2. He is able to get up and move around - he gets back in bed when he is tired or sore or just cold but he is up and around.
3. He is not using his right hand very much right now because it is still bandaged and has pins sticking out the end of his thumb. It is looking like the graft is taking although there are still two spots doctors are watching.
4. Surgery on his head will be 4 weeks after he is off his anti-0biotics which puts us in January. They have already designed and made the piece that will be fit in under his muscle flap. That muscle flap becomes is also his skin graft. Later down the road they can do surgery for hair and such .
5. Jake has limited strength and motion in his right arm. He is missing muscle that was removed because it was damaged from electricity and is very tight do to grafting. Skin shrinks up as it heals, like leather when it is wet.
6. Jake's heel is a very tender area and he has nicked it a couple of times. Skin on bone grafts are delicate and as the wound care nurse said this week, he will always have to be especially careful with his feet. We went out looking for a good pair of shoes on Friday but were both a bit frustrated - what he considers acceptable looks-wise and what is best functional has not found an intersection yet.

We have so much to be thankful for as so many of you know. This part of the journey is hard in that we are not dealing with life and death crisis but in the long road of recovery. Emotions and attitude are such an important part of his forward progress but those are things that we cannot force. All that we can do is try to lay down the groundwork that we feel best fosters and cares for him. I would say we often fail as much as we succeed. One of the biggest blessings is touch points by friends - those friends that come and hang with him and that he feels safe with. Many of his friends feel at home enough to walk in the front door without needing to knock and help themselves to whatever they can find in the fridge. That makes my heart rejoice.

I still with all my heart know that God is in the midst of all of this. It does not go they way I think that things should go. I thought Jake would be having his head surgery this week. We have not been abandoned. The fears that continue to come up are the same fears that are always there and they involve me trying to control and figure things out rather than surrender and trust. Put the word "I" in front of anything this season and it will sell: I-phone, I-touch, I-case... and that is what I do - putting "I" in front of everything considering myself first far too often. There is a surrender that takes place in God's Kingdom, a surrender of "I". This is not all about me. God is here seeing the bigger picture and moving and acting according to his perfect design.

Christmas is here. My prayer is that I do not make this Christmas about me. That God would help me to surrender myself and in the midst of sacrificing and serving others - I would be serving Him.

Blessing and grace

Tom (Daddy)

1 comment:

Christi said...

I love how you see things from Jacob's perspective without taking it personally, like knowing that a weekend where you are at home with your parents is going to be a little deflating for a teenager. He's lucky that you get that.