Tuesday, December 8, 2009

never put to shame

Jake and I escaped down the hill to my parents house in Los Gatos. It was 33 degrees when we left home - frost everywhere and our little fountain had a half of an inch of ice - perfect for Jensen to freeze objects (currently a Rock-em Sock-em Robot. Jensen is at Science Camp this week - could not have picked a colder week. Jake and I are trying to push through some school assignments. Everything is Internet based and we need to increase the pace a bit in order to graduate.

While Jake is working and while I wait for him to need my help, I was reading the articles about Sarah, the young Gilroy girl who passed away from alcohol poisoning and thinking about the devastation that community is going through. So completely overwhelming. Honestly, though I am removed from them, it hurts so deeply. The finality of death - the tragedy of loss. In so many respects my loss has been avoided, my tragedy is moving to victory. Though right now Jake is dependent on us for so much - we will know freedom for him.

This young 15 year old girl - in senseless, tragic loss has left a void of remorse that parents, family, friends must work through to avoid their own downward spiral working through the same questions we have worked through; why? Why Lord? You are in control and you have the ability to make a little adjustment to spare this life. I still look at Jake and ask the same questions. Why could you have not just made the damage a little less. What are you going to do through this? How are we going to be blessed and how are you going to be glorified through all of this.

These questions, I am convinced are very, very necessary. They are not questions to be feared or avoided. But they are also not questions that we should ever be satisfied with simple answers. What has happened with Jacob is an ever expanding and widening journey that continues to teach and grow us. Jacob's ministry is just beginning. I am hopeful and expectant that God can and will use these stories of suffering and tragedy to expand His community. The Andrew Sinclair and Jessica Huse communities and experiencing the suffering of coming out of a coma and moving toward steps of recovery and rehab at some point. We pray that God would continue to use it and bless them. Lord what do you have for Sarah's community. "Lord, reveal to them your presence, your hope, your purpose. Fill us with your peace - strength to make a step toward tomorrow.

Romans 10:11 As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame."

That verse comes in the context of Paul writing to a people in the midst of a cultural tragedy - a major mind-blowing paradigm shift in thinking. What they thought was the way God worked was being shown to be so much greater. They were acting a certain way to please God and were being told that the actions were nothing if the heart was not pure. Much more God was including Gentile's into his kingdom and Israel was not responding. Paul wants them and us to understand that the message of God was that simply believing in your heart and confessing with your mouth that Jesus is Lord is enough.

There is a message of hope. Even in the midst of devastating tragedy - as I remind myself often - there is still hope - God is still present - He is still good. I look at Jacob's wounds - his scars and still cringe - my heart still hurts. Yet they are are reminder that God is still good.

There are hero's among us. There are teens that remind us and reflect to us that God is still good. He is not done yet and desires that we surrender our pain into his arms and find that his strength is so much greater. As Robbie continues to remind me - it is more about releasing our pain to him - surrender - than it is about trying to figure out why.

Grace and peace,

Tom (Daddy)


1 comment:

Lois Stinogel said...

I agree with Robbie-I try to make myself stop asking why my husband died-and why my kids aren't living for the Lord like I want them to. We continue to believe in a big God who thinks differently than we do-in my devotional the other day, I read this-"God's thoughts are not our thoughts, nor are they even like our own. We're not even in the same neighborhood"-Max Lucado