Sunday, November 8, 2009

Mom writes: Sat Nov 7 Sat AM

Debbie wrote this out and asked me to put it on the blog...
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JK likes in his own bed as I sit nearby on a mattress we put on the floor in his room so that I can sleep close to him - if we wakes in the night as often happens, I can help him get to the bathroom or rub his hurting lower back or comfort him if he's nightmarish or pop him pills to help him to sleep again...

Yes, this has all been very hard on Tom and I as a married couple BUT we wouldn't have it any other way right now as JK is alive and with us - hurting, grieving, but also able to smile, love, be thoughtful, work on schooling so he can graduate this year. He has lost so much as a result of his accident yet it is true that much has been gained in terms of love and depth of character for all of us.

There is stuff I am able to let go of now...I can let Jensen grow his beautiful blond hair into his eyes without complaining (too much) and dragging him to get a trim. The day will come when he realizes on his own that it is helpful to see where he is walking and choose to get it cut - life is too short to fight about hair lengths.

Robbie is home for the weekend - Jake has already mentioned a few times how he wants him to stay as he is so encouraging to him - the "brother bond" was nothing compared to what they have now - amazing. And for all my impatience and resentment and frustration with Tom over many things, he still brings me coffee in bed every morning which I treasure and he has taken over the kitchen (he was already the main food maker) big time - reorganized everything. He is downstairs making waffles right now - had to run to the store to get more milk (Robbie is home milk disappears like crazy - we should buy a cow!) Tom already came up this morning and rubbed Jake's back for 20 minutes as JK told us about one of his weirdest dreams yet.

One of the biggest ways I have seen Jacob changing is in his thoughtfulness - right now he is putting music onto his Ipod to play for me.

Tonight is the Burn Gala. The nurse manager, Jill, told about it months ago and we committed way back then to going. We spent an eternity with Jake in the ICU Burn Unit at Valley Med and I thought we would live there forever - then it seemed we were yanked from our family. It will be so good to be with them - Jake has never met them. He may not be 100% but we are going. Several of our family and friends will be there tonight with us - they have been with us through it all - as so many of you have. I hope to "be still and treasure this night in my heart" instead of worrying about anything or anyone. One of the best parts of tonight is that Captain Greg Hansen will be there. Greg is the true hero who risked his own life to rescue JK from the live power lines as he struggled and screamed and went limp. Greg had to pull JK out on his own not knowing if he'd be electrocuted himself...

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That is where Debbie ended it. I wanted her to write more but that is it for now and she asked me to post it. So I pretty much wrote word for word. Debbie is sacrificing so much to be right there for Jake and care for him - less wound care now and more just being present - watching over him.

2 comments:

Christi said...

Love to hear from her perspective. I liked the part especially about not fighting about the little things that don't matter like a son's hair length. Thank you for sharing, Debbie.

Anonymous said...

All of you continue to amaze me. I was never blessed with children, but you exemplify what it means to love unconditionally, which, of course, inspires me to do the same with my family. Thank you for your ever-present courage, even if it feels like your world is falling apart sometimes. God is holding each and every one of you very closely - He promises never to let go. Rest well in His arms.