Wednesday, November 18, 2009

love this incredible

It is late. I should be in bed as I need to be up again in the morning to get Jensen to school and then meet with Jacob's Independent Studies Teacher. Before I turn in - I just needed to write. Otherwise I know I will just lay there for a while. So much of this blog is about Robbie and I just simply journalling our hearts about this Journey that we found ourselves thrust into on June 28th 2009 - 5 months ago.

There are moments that just overwhelm me - not just moments regarding Jacob - moments of others. Jessica Huse & Andrew Sinclair pull hard on my heart as we lift them up in prayer. Pick up the paper you find another story far too easily. Several friends fighting cancer. Marriages falling apart. Teenagers rebelling. A father still abusing his daughter - still not caught. There is such tragedy all around.

Walking Jacob up the stairs tonight to his bed I had to pull back tears. Watching a movie with Jensen - a father lost his son - I wept. There is such a helplessness right now. Waiting for the 4 weeks of anti-biotics to be up. Waiting for head surgery. Waiting for Jakes back to get better. Plodding through simple exercises to stretch skin grafts and strengthen muscles. Not being where he wants to be is so hard for Jacob. Missing hanging out at lunch and going to dollar pizza with his friends. We have said all of the before - but it still hits him - pray for strength, stamina, gratefullness, HOPE...

The moment that we are given right now, right here is no accident. Even where Jake is right now, right here - though he does not fully understand nor like it - is exactly where God wants him today. It does not mean we cannot long for more - God longs for more too. That is why he gave us his son - that is why his holy spirit is available to us - to help us see that today is more than what we make of it. He gives us more than we can ask or imagine - do I make the most of my moments?

You have found me where I am
Filthy wretched shadow of a man
I was fallen - broken from choices made
alone and empty - You called my name
Love so incredible, love so true
Holds me in mercy, holds me in You

Crucified for me; Your holiness remains
Beaten and bloody treated with such shame
Holy, merciful, gracious redeemer
Your death spreads wide your holy fame
Love so incredible, love so true
Holds me in mercy, Holds me in you

In this moment I am given - no matter how hard
Fill me, restore me, Lord make me like you
That I might be thankful and let down my guard
With dancing and signing Lord I praise you anew
Love so incredible, love so true
Holds me in mercy, Holds me in you.
I think I am suppose to end with that - it is late - and this laptop keeps loosing it's WIFI signal - I have to press down on the computer with my left wrist to get a signal - dying laptop - already been fixed for the last time. Hand is cramping - eyes are drooping.

Where you are is no accident. Dwelling in God's strength, allow His grace to be sufficient.

In hope, love and faith

Tom (JK Daddy)

1 comment:

A. Christine said...

Tom, thank you so much for these deeply reassuring, comforting words. I love the poem - did you write it? It is beautiful. Praying for you all.