Monday, November 16, 2009

Fractured faith is still faith...

Jake had an appointment with the surgeons who did the graft to his thumb. They took out the stitches from his doner sight and checked out his thumb and its graft. I was not there and when I got home I basically got a tearful report. The doctor is doubtful about the graft taking. We knew that skin on bone is the least ideal graft but we were willing to take the chance to get Jake's thumb covered. Debbie is going to have to change the bandage daily and continue to care for it. And we need to pray - pray that God would do heal. If we had not gone for this graft and done the more elaborate flap graft we would not have gotten in there until mid-December - they may not have discovered the infection - which would have been disastrous for the head surgery.

All in all it is not horrible news but it feels like horrible news. These are less than wonderful reports and we are longing for some incredible miracles. There is a weariness that is descending on us - a monotony and longing for forward motion. We dream of "normal" life which is beyond our grasp. Jacob is making goals to move toward and he and Debbie have been dreaming of going someplace exotic - Fuji, I think. oops that is an apple. Fiji. Hawaii. Yet that is so far from reality.

As Thanksgiving approaches rapidly with Christmas on it's tail, there is so much "family-wise" to be thankful for - and yet so easy to focus on what we do not have - what we want - what we wish for - what we regret. Is it just a matter of having a positive attitude - why is that even so important? It does strengthen the heart to dwell on dwell on those things that bring blessing. It is proven that ones attitude does affect our physiology an our health. We either guard our heart or we harden it. It is very, very important that we guard it - protect it in a way that allows it to stay soft, open, tender to the things of God. That is so very hard in the midst of suffering - in the midst of trial - in times of hardship.

Philippians 4:4-9 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Who we are is far more than physical - so whatever is happening in our physical reality - "Lord, please do not let that be what molds my heart - allow the spiritual reality to lead me to the treasure that you have for us. Though my faith is so we and hope continues to be shaken - allow me to stand on you, my God."

Fractured faith is still faith. Jesus told those that followed him that if they had faith the size of a mustard seed they could move mountains. He also complained of their little faith. A sermon for another time but there is a difference between having small faith and having little faith. Little faith gives up - small faith withstands being fractured and shaken but remains grounded in the hope that God is still in the midst of all of this - He has not abandoned us and will not forsake us - the righteous shall live by faith (Rom 1:17).

Thanks for listening - this helped me to renew my strength for today.

In fractured but intact faith,

Tom (JK Daddy)


Anonymous said...

Dear we continue to read your coments each day, we are compelled to pray even more ferverntly for God to keep you encouraged...This has been such a stupendous test, but we still know that God's grace will see you through.. What a blessing you have been to us as we see your ups and downs, and continue to trust in our Great God...We are old, and have experienced many times when we could almost give up, but we KNOW that He will bless you for your faithfulness in trusting His plan for you lives...God bless you and keep you close to Him.The Merlyn Fordices

Mari said...

So sorry for the disappointing news! We will get on with some serious praying here for healing & that the graft will take...for more miracles! Can only imagine the feelings of weariness at the tedious process. So we will be praying for you all - for renewed faith, strength for the day, for healing & hope & joyful forward movement toward Jacobs's very feasible goal of a tropical celebration! :-) Love to you all!

Lois Stinogel said...

I like your concept of little faith and small faith. I know I have wondered about those several times through my experiences. I also know-by experience-that things will never be "normal" again-but there will be a "new normal" Normal is just a setting on a dryer-sorry, i took that from a book title!?!

Lois Stinogel