Thursday, October 15, 2009

miracle is still right in front of us...

Electricity has been restored! What an amazing blessing. Sure we lost a bit of food from the fridge and freezer but honestly it feels kinda good to clean it out. I do admit I thought a lot about downed power lines over the last few days - praying and hoping that no one would end up at the Burn Unit at Valley Med. Not that I do not love those amazing people - thank God for them everyday but I do not want anyone to go through what Jacob is still going through. There are moments that I still hurt for him so very badly.

I started going back through the journey - reading - remembering - pulling it all together. How quickly we forget what we have been through. Sure some things will never be forgotten but fortunately the intensity of the feelings lessens with time. Somehow we need to keep some of that current - the desperate passion for God - the glad surrender - the releasing of control allowing community to uplift us. How can we have more community with each other without the tragedy? How can we just make a habit of coming alongside each other? We all have needs - loneliness, depression, fractured, wounded. We are so much better with each other as long as we do not play games with each other.

Honestly sometimes everyday life is much harder than times of trial - times of desperation - when you have to release control. In everyday life we have this illusion of control and the desperation for control. What is the balance between letting go and trusting God to move and stepping out in faith and action? So often waiting for me is long enough until I think God should do something and then acting. Honestly the phrase, "God helps those that help themselves" is not in the Bible - and yet we act like it is so Godly. This confronts me with my own integrity - I need to do what is right before God - no matter what I can get away with.

Everyday life can be hard. Communication. Meeting everyone's needs. Fulfilling commitments and obligations. Waiting on God and seeking him in the mundane, day-to-day activities. In a sense right now that is how things are with Jake. Being home you would think that so much is behind us - and obviously it is - yet there is so much more ahead. Just in the everyday life. Medications administered, rehab exercises, trying to do school with a lousy internet connection, dealing with the injured heel, hand, thumb, head, arm...

God is still right here with us. Yet we still long for the miraculous. We follow Jesus around as the crowds did and say do something fantastic that we have never seen before and then we will believe. Yet he is saying come lets have a meal together - let's go for a walk - let's just sit and talk. Is there nothing more miraculous than that? God wants to dine with us - he loves us and likes us and wants to spend time with us. Nothing in that is ordinary, mundane, or everyday. It is superfantastic, amazing, miraculous, divine.

Jake only has 4 more days of anti-biotics. The neuro-surgeon's office called to set up an appointment for next week. We are moving forward - not fast but we are moving. And Jacob is still Jacob. I was telling a friend the other day - he has no brain damage. There is nothing that we see - electricity went through his brain and there was no damage. Maybe the miracle is still right in front of us as we continue to ask for more miracles.

Grace and peace in abundance,

Tom (JK Daddy)


Anonymous said...

Your miracle IS right in front of you.

God Blessed you

Anonymous said...

I concur. The everyday life can be overwhelming & dark & seemingly hopeless at times. Sometimes just plain exhausting. However, your words--"electricity went through his brain and there was no damage" is such a beautiful reminder of the HUGE miracles upon miracles that we have seen and I LOVE that God is also interested in the small stuff. The day to day mundane nuances that can take our focus off of Him...I'm believing right there with you for a continuing of the BIG miracles, but also the gentle flow of the priceless "little" miracles coming your way [and mine] as well!

Anonymous said...

I have been a follower of Jacob and your story from the very first night I saw him come through the ER. Over these past several months I have been spiritually challenged more than I ever have. Reading your blog provides me with hope and a desire to "stand up" again to the challenge we call life. I am beyond amazed to know that Jacob really is, indeed intact and thriving. What an example he is, and will be, for the rest of his days here on earth. May God bless you and comfort each and every day.