Monday, August 10, 2009

Faithfulness

It is 8pm - the last hour Jake was incredibly active - while Debbie and I went to dinner - really we did not plan it that way. Jim and Kirky were very sweaty just now when I came in. He is pretty calm now - a bit of shaking and moving but not trying to get out of bed or roll over. He actually whacked my sister (Kirky) in the jaw a couple of times.

Today was a challenging day for me. Nothing major - more just feeling this pressure and sadness ...part of it is the 'long-termness" of this injury, the bills starting to hit, dealing with insurance and such, but also there is a mounting burden. I am probably ultra sensitive right now and it is not that I am dwelling on it but there is an iota of starting to try to understand the heart of God and how it breaks for us. I am hearing of new tragedies every day from injuries, to friends with Swine Flu, to marriages breaking up, to depression....I could go on.

Earlier today, watching Jacob being helped by three very small hospital staff - struggling to sit up - limp - out of it - IV tubes - breathing tubes - helmet on - I started dwelling on the realization that the road to recovery is so very long - so very difficult.

It is now after 11pm - I started writing the above and then after I left the hospital I got message from a friend who is in High School. Her family has been through their own journey she shared this song with me...

Your Faithfulness
by Brian Doerkson
I don't know what this day will bring
Will it be disappointing, filled with longed for things?
I don't know what tomorrow holds
Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness
I don't know if these clouds mean rain
If they do, will they pour down blessing or pain?
I don't know what the future holds
Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness
Certain as the rivers reach the sea
Certain as the sunrise in the east
I can rest in your faithfulness
Surer than a mother's tender love
Surer than the stars still shine above
I can rest in your faithfulness
I don't know how or when I'll die
Will it be a thief, or will I have a chance to say goodbye?
No, I don't know how much time is left
But in the end, I will know your faithfulness
When darkness overwhelms my soul
When thoughts and storms of doubt
Still I trust You are always faithful, always faithful
Certain as the rivers reach the sea
Certain as the sunrise in the east
I can rest in your faithfulness
Surer than a mother's tender love
Surer than the stars still shine above
I can rest in your faithfulness
I don't know what this day will bring
Will it be disappointing, filled with longed for things?
I don't know what tomorrow holds
Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness

I am so thankful for youth that turn me back to God. I started thinking about grace. And I think sometimes I cheapen it and tried to make it into what I want it to look like. Grace is found in the presence of God more than the absence of problems. Grace is God's faithfulness to meet me here, touch me here, to be with me through this time with Jacob. Not knowing what tomorrow may bring but fully being able to trust in God's faithfulness.


Whatever God brings tomorrow He is with us.

Peace and Love

Tom (Dad)

4 comments:

Cindy Todd said...

Thank you Tom for reminding us that God's grace is not found in the absense of problems! I continue to pray for you all! I'm glad you and Debbie got some time together. Love you, Cindy

Casey Travis said...

Our pastor talked on grace a few weeks ago. He talked about it not so much as merit that we receive (I think one popular acronym is God's Riches At Christ's Expense) but instead as fuel for living life in the flow of all that He is. In order for us to live as His children, experiencing all of the great good and deep hardships that this life can bring, as ones who are day by day and moment by moment being transformed into His character and likeness, His very image, than He must infuse us with Himself. It is the only way; and this is grace. And grace as fuel for propelling us forward in this life in Him is to be consumed like a Hummer driving straight up Pike's Peak!

Grace as fuel for living.

Your family has put this kind of life on display for anyone who wants to see what it looks like. I don't say that lightly, I tell our church body often that if they want to see the kind of life that we have been talking about on display, just read this blog.

The only encouragement that I have for you today is that when I look at all of you, I see Christ. Thank you for your example, thank you for showing me what it looks like. I know that you didn't choose for this to happen to Jacob, but you have chosen to be fueled by God's grace once it did happen. Thank you. I love you all...more than I can say...

Victoria said...

Rec'd email request to post to blog from Jacque':

Tom,
You are amazing!!! You are a giant killer. Goliath seems to have the upper hand & from out of the fog-- a figure steps into the clearing-- ......... IT'S A GIANT SLAYER!! A son of The Most High King stands & takes his place on the world scene..... With one hand he digs deep into his soul & out he pulls just 1 smooth stone. He deliberately places it in the sling--"pondering" & as he types on his keyboard he HAS NEVER BEEN MORE NOBLE, MORE BRAVE, or MORE COURAGEOUS ....& with one movement- "SEND" the stone "blog" flies & BAM THE GIANT GOES DOWN!!!! & all of us Israelites watch & with a ROAR we stand to our feet & go after OUR GOLIATHS!!!!

YOU ARE EQUIPPING THE SAINTS. YOU DO HAVE A JOB. YOU ARE A HERO OF THE FAITH.

Thank you-- for YOUR WARRIOR WITNESS.

Jacque' Sutton. :-)

Victoria said...

Rec'd email request to post to blog from Carol:

Tom,
Amen!! And that's the truth. God has never promised us a rose garden, He only promised to be there all the time, with us. It's like the three Hebrew children in the furnace; He was in there with them and protecting them.
Blessings, Carol