Sunday, August 30, 2009

End of Week 9

It has been 9 weeks of this journey.

Often as I reflect I still am amazed in how in a moment of time - your world changes. On the one hand we have come so far, seen so much, yet there is so much more to come. I guess it is a different anxiety, a different stress - there is no way to avoid anxiety and stress and yet we can control our response to it - although at the time - in the instant of being slapped in the face with something - it feels like we are simply in the midst of white water being plummeted downstream - no paddles - no life jackets - hardly even a boat at times. And then someone on shore trying to tell you to not panic - don't stress - don't worry - as you try to keep your head in a place to gulp for air.

As we sit here in Jacob's room on a Sunday afternoon, in the midst of the stress, anxiety of what is to come (scared beyond words) there is peace. Jacob is asleep right now - he has been increasing how much he is sleeping at night although he wakes up in the morning to a sense of "reality" to his situation - a growing awareness. He should be in his senior year right now. He can't walk yet. His right arm is weak. His head so badly wounded. Last night I watched as his 6 pm bandage change went on - still hard for me to take in the wounds - yet he fell asleep during it. Incredible. Debbie actually got to sleep through the 12pm change - they did not wake her to ask how to do some of the changes (they are learning) - Jake slept through it too. Peace in the midst of storm.

Jake told me yesterday morning that he has hair like mine. He lights up when we walk in the room and for a time we may have a laugh or a cry. Then he gets drowsy. He told me that he wakes up and then they give him medicine that makes him drowsy. I told him each time they are giving you less - weaning you off the medications. My sister helped him a little while ago with his exercises for his right arm and hand. The more rehab we can do now before the surgery to come, the better.

The last two mornings have been opportunities for me to sit at home amidst the redwoods in the coolness of the mountain air and breath a little with God. I read 1 Peter. In thinking about Peter and what he witnessed with Christ - the miracles, walking on water, teachings, suffering, death, resurrection... - I think of Jacob. Not so much looking for answers right now to the question "why" this all happened, but just wondering what God will do as we move forward. Peter wrote this: "Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires but rather for the will of God." (4:1-2)

I hope that continues - it is so easy to forget once suffering is behind you, that God has done the miraculous, that his hand has been so real and apparent, that in the midst of the swirling white water, though not lifted out, he has come alongside and swam with us and sometimes for us as we avoid rocks and waterfalls. In the midst of the stress and turmoil there is peace beyond our understanding through the cross of the resurrected Christ. Hope is not hope unless it is found in suffering - or at least it is hope untested.

Week 10 may be a big week - it may include surgery - we will let you know as we know. Or it may be a week of gradual steps for Jacob to sit up, to walk, to talk, to be our Jacob. By the way let's not forget this praise - Jacob's mind is in great shape - remembering what Jacob likes: Good Earth Tea, Betty's Burgers, pudding, Three Amigo's, his feet being survive this kind of injury is amazing - to have as much ability as he has is astounding. Lord we stop and praise you for all you have done. (Read Psalm 77 - it is worth it!)

In the Hope of this moment,

Tom (Dad)


Anonymous said...

Prayer for this week:
Possible surgery-(knowing that all is working together guided by the Master), stamina for Jacob and family, hope and peace as each step takes Jacob a little closer to where God has planned for him to be.
We love you and are still here praying for you Jacob and your loving family.
God Bless You!

Anonymous said...

Tom, Debbie, Jacob, Robbie and Jensen--
I heard Third Day singing the chorus of this song the other day and it reminded me of all of you.
(From "Tunnel")

There's a light at the end of this tunnel
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
For you, for you
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
Shinin' bright at the end of this tunnel
For you, for you
So keep holdin' on

I love you all and will keep on prayin' hard for you this week as new things are happening--healing, recovery, learning, struggles, possible surgery. You are still held tight in His hands. Hundreds of voices continue to be raised by the hour for you.
Love, Ginger

Cindy Todd said...

Lord thank you for all you have done and will do! Amen! Cindy

Anonymous said...

P.S. It was also GREAT to see and spend a little time with Debbie when picking up Danny/Jensen/Hseis.
Maybe you don't feel like it when you're so worn out and strained by the pain of all of it, but both you, Tom, and you, Debbie, are still such a HUGE BLESSING to be with. It's like, you're in this spiritual battle of a lifetime against forces trying to drag you away from the Lord, but there's a glow of spirits surrounding you (think "Piercing the Darkness" by Peretti) who are fighting the battle for you. I wish I could have DONE something more, but it was nice to just be around her and get to hug her--twice! :)

Victoria said...

Rec'd email request to post from Carol:

Hi Tom,
God is so very good!!!! Thank you Jesus for all that You have done for Jacob.

Blessings, Carol