Monday, July 6, 2009

Humbled by love

Today has been pretty much prep and watch for Jacob's surgery. They just finished changing his bedding and bandages which is for this nursing shift about an hour and a half process. They added a brace to his right arm that looks like a shield under his arm, pit and down his side. It is to keep the arm up and help the skin heal.

It is 9:45 and I am sitting here alone in the room with my boy. I actually am treasuring this moment. I want so badly to talk to him and yet I do not want him to be awake and to get frustrated and feel the pain. The realization of what has happened and what is yet to come. Enjoy the present moment.

There is so much we take for granted with our children - so many treasured moments I have missed. As parents there is a fine balance between hovering over them and guiding and releasing them as they mature. Our goal is that as they grow and mature they increase in responsibility and match that with independence. Now suddenly Jacob in one responsibly moment is quite dependent.

Debbie and I are so very blessed. Thank you Lord for the gift of our children. Thank you Lord for the gift of Jacob, Robbie and Jensen

As I was driving back to the hospital I thought about how cloudy and dark this journey can be. Two very real things light the path. One is that God is alive and moving and we have seen his hand print in many ways. Two we are not alone on this journey. Besides God we have a tremendous and growing network of support. Family, friends, churches, people I have not yet even met. On this journey, as Jacob's family, we are not alone. I thank God each time I think of you. Each time I read a message. Stories are getting back to us of this growing network of people joining Jacob on this journey. Thank you for seeking us out and praying to God on Jacob's behalf. We are so very humbled by your love.

Phil 2:1-2
If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

Tomorrow another surgery.

Goodnight Jacob.

4 comments:

J said...

Tom, Debbie, Robbie, Jacob & Jensen,
We are praying that God will give you His grace for each moment (especially you Jacob). Thank you for sharing your feelings so openly as well as what God is showing you through His word and through the body of Christ. Your supernatural responses are inspiring and spur me to a greater desire to know God.

P.S. Tom & Debbie--When your boys were little, I remember thinking that you were amazing parents. I liked to watch how you interacted with your boys....with lots of love and kindness.

Judy Aagard

Jessica said...

Sam and I are praying for you all. I also pray for the nursing staff and medical team that is helping you all make decisions on Jacob's care - that they will be diligent, rested, not rushed, wise, and compassionate as they provide care and interventions for Jacob's future.
Walk with the King,
Jessica Smits

Reach Austin said...

Tom & Debbie -
we've been praying!
Love you guys!
Matthias & Andrea

Kendra said...

Tom -
I am at such a loss for words yet so very inspired by your generous and authentic expression of faith, love, fear, hope. My prayers - as well as those of my community of faith here in Long Beach and Southern California - are with Jacob and your entire family.

I offer these words taken from a song based on a Jewish prayer for healing:

"...May the Source of Strength
Who blessed the ones before us
Help us find the courage
To make our lives a blessing...
...Bless those in need of healing
With refuah sh'leimah:
The renewal of body
The renewal of spirit
And let us say: Amen"

My mind wanders back our carefree childhood on Potter Court. . .

With all the love I can muster,
Kendra (Wayker) Cogert