Thursday, July 23, 2009

Surgery today

TV News regarding concert click here.

As of right now, Jacob's surgery is scheduled for today at noon - which may be one. I know you all will be covering him in prayer and that the doctors will have God working through them. Though I am scared I also see this as a necessary step forward. Removing his breathing tube and putting in the tracheotomy - needs to happen. "Let your request be made known to God...and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts..."

Honestly I find this strange conflict going on inside of me as we face this time with Jacob. Theology is our attempt to explain God. God is really beyond our understanding. He is infinite and I am finite. I have limitations. So my theology is a minuscule dot on the horizon of God. So much of what is going in cannot be explained with easy answers about the nature of God and how God works things out. Healing, miracles, prayer, faith, hope, etc from our perspective are much different that God's perspective.

So then what do I cling to at a time like this - when this "Great Pain" has invaded our lives. I get so caught up in this being about me - but it is first of all so much bigger than that and second of all more about Jacob than about me. What I continue to be able to cling to is this relationship that I have with God. This growing, unexplainable, spiritual friendship with the God of the universe. My faith that God did send his Son, that his Son Jesus did die for our sins, that I have faith in Christ, sustains me through this process. Trust is only truly trust in the midst of vulnerability. Releasing this "Great Pain" into the hands of not just any friend but one that is fully able to take control. This control is not always the way I think they should happen or how I would work things out but it is trustworthy.

The only thing that I can truly control is my action and reaction.

1 Tim 1:9-12
This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance (and for this we labor and strive), that we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men and especially those who believe. Command and teach these things. Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity.

I cannot get out of my head the youth last night with their "Jacob's Journey Crew" shirts on. There were so many of them. Though tragedy surrounds us - so much is unexplainable - we have before us examples of speech, life, love, faith and purity. The event last night blew my mind not just by the event - which was awesome but by the friends of Jacob who took their time and energy and money to reflect the heart of the Father in speech, life, love, faith and purity. God is moving in their hearts and the hearts of so many. As John says "perfect love casts out all fear."

Thanks for continuing to pray for us and for Jacob. In the midst of this also pray for Vin Tong who is facing surgery on his face tomorrow.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dearest Kirkendall family:

You are an inspiration to me, as you find inspiration in God. God shines through you. Jacob is a lucky young man to have such a supportive and loving and wise family. If I may offer a touch of advice. . . rest. You need the rest now, because Jacob will need you later as he wakes up. Get lots of sleep. Go for walks. Eat well. Please.
Love and Light to you all.