Friday, July 31, 2009

Just a flesh wound...

It is just after noon. I just came out of Jacob's room - holding him down for about an hour. I have to use both my arms to hold him down. He thrashed so much that his head bandage slipped off exposing the wound on his head - almost the whole left side of his head is missing skin. Skin that was damaged and removed in the last operation. As I struggled today to hold Jacob's arm down, one of his IVs came out - blood squirting across his body. He has no idea that what he is doing makes things worse for him. Ever see the Monte Python movie where the night has his limbs cut off and continues trying to fight saying "it is just a flesh wound"? Jacob has an enormous flesh wound. He was thrashing about rubbing it on the bed - so hard to see such pain.

The are changing Jacob's bandages now - Debbie went in for it - I came out. She wants to be there to help - I wanted to but can't.

In moments of praise today I remembered the doctor in the ER room telling us it is truly a miracle that Jacob survived. A couple of days ago our doctor said that she was not sure he would make it through the lung damage week. We are no longer wondering if he will survive but how he will survive - what will he be like, what damage will there be, how will he overcome? He continues to be tremendously strong - he will do that which seems impossible. God is holding him and healing him.

The nurses are changing Jacob's bandages now - Debbie went in for it - I came out. She wants to be there to help - I wanted to but can't.

I have a new picture of angels from my experience here. I no longer see them as winged superhumans in white dresses. They are medical attendants: nurses, therapists, doctors, janitors - all gathering in attendance waiting on Jacob - watching - cleaning up - meeting his needs - guiding - directing - challenging - correcting. Their attention is fully on Jacob and their whole goal is to guide him toward restoration - functioning - healing. They have deep tender hearts - their own experiences shaping who they are and what they do.

As you pray - the word stability continues to come to my mind. One of the difficulties is the instability that we face - rather that Jacob faces - each day - each hour - each moment. We desire consistent, stable, predictable improvement but each improvement holds its own setbacks, cautions, worries. Stabilize Jacob's brain, wounds, fever. Sustain his heart-rate, blood pressure, breathing. Hold him God. Hold us all.

Love and peace

Tom (Dad)


Anonymous said...

Dear Tom, Debbie & Family,
You have no idea what an influence and inspiration you are to the readers out there following this blog! I was working at Dominican Hospital (in the cardiac unit) the night Jake was injured. I had heard about what happened and learned about the blog through friends on facebook who are following. I had something happen to me in 2007 but not nearly as tragic as what happened to Jake. It made me walk away from church and question my faith. Just from following your blog it has inspired me and made me lean more on the Lord and being to want a relationship again with the Lord. You have been such an inspiration and encouragement to me! Words cannot express my graditude! I can only hope that one day my boys and I can return the favor to someone else someday and be encouraged as you have encouraged me and inspired me! Thank you for your faith...even when it would have been so easy to walk away with what has happened. Your blog has been changed my life and I am sure it has changed others too who are following and praying as well. Thank you for your blog... the encouraging and yet inspiring words. You have certainly touched and blessed my life! Thank You!
Karina Zentner
P.S. You have been in my prayers and will continue to be!
Someday I would love to meet you in person and thank you personally for your faith!

Victoria said...

I rec'd this email request to post:

Hi Tom,
Gosh, you brought back so many memories for me that I started to cry. I can remember us holding and laying on top of one of our sons just so they could draw blood. It is awful in the mist of it. But God is faithful.

God continue to hold this family, giving them strength for each thing that happens, let them feel Your arms around them, and help them when they are helping their son. God I pray that You would cause Jacob to be at peace, Your peace. Lord, cause all his wounds to heal quickly that they can see and the ones they can't see.

Speak to Jacob's spirit, transform him and allow him to remember what You have told him so he can share with his family. God I also want to pray that You would provide for this family beyond their wildest thoughts.

God thank you for reminding all of us that we entertain angles unaware. God you hear this father's prayer for his son and I for one want to agree with him in prayer before You. Come and be glorified 'cause no one can do what You do or as well as You do.
Blessings, Carol

Sharon Shenk said...

My heart is breaking as I read this. Please God, comfort the heart of this father. You know how much it hurts to watch a child suffer. Comfort, please. Sustain and hold each one, Father.