Sunday, July 26, 2009

healing skin...

This afternoon they did a "take down" on Jacob. Basically they took all of his bandages off to examine the wounds and apply fresh dressings. Every 8 hours now (was 6) they are changing his dressings but with the "take down" they unwrap all the bandages and examine the skin grafts to see if they are sticking. The skin is growing back. The cadaver was taken off as well - this was basically serving as a bandage to see if his own skin would grow back. It did. Very, very good news. His skin is healing. He is also almost completely off the sedative: pray and hope that he remains relatively still tonight so that the skin continues to heal and they will not have to raise the sedative.

Slow process but we are seeing improvement. His temperature continues to move up and the Tylenol, Motrin and ice help to bring it down. Longing to see his eyes and to see his smile we take each day as it comes. We are not sure what is next for tomorrow - when more surgery will come - when he will open his eyes - how his body will react. But we can treasure the hope that comes from movement in the right direction. Trusting in God with all our heart, not leaning on our own understanding, but each day, each step of this journey allowing God to make this path straight...relying on his peace and joy to keep us rooted.

In the midst of this journey we have been confronted with the depth of sorrow that squeezes the heart. It confronts everything we are, everything we believe and everything for which we hope. Reality of the moment confronts the longing of our heart - the security of our soul. Is the faith that which we hold able to sustain us? I would honestly say "no". It is great to have faith but the object of that faith is much more important. That may seem obvious on the surface and yet difficult in practice.

I have been praying and believing (in faith) that God will heal our son. I have seen some miracles from God - I have seen skilled professionals as well. God has not fully healed as I have prayed. And yet the presence of God is right here. Faith is only as strong as the object of that faith; I have been asking myself this question, "do I have enough faith to withstand answers to my prayers that I do not like?" "Do I trust in God, the object of my faith, enough to put him above my son being healed or is my faith merely wishful thinking? It would seem to me that faith is about waiting in eager expectation of seeing the glory of God fully on display. It is about releasing control as we lay down our wounded, fractured, desperate souls into the hands of the one who we can fully trust.

Lord, we will not stop our prayers for healing, sleep, peace -
begging, crying, pleading for restoration.
With faith fully in you, the only one fully able to answer,
we wait in eager, desperate expectation.
Waiting not just for answers,
but that we might catch a glimpse of You moving in our midst.

Love and peace in eager expectation,

Tom (Dad)


Karen said...

I have been following Jacob's Journey since it was pointed out to me from the onset. As I read your post tonight it reminded me of anothe family and their journey they reached the point as did their child where they said they just needed to Let Go and Let God. I feel very strongly that God is working to heal your Jacob.

Anonymous said...

Tom and Debbie,
I just keep praying that everything will progress in God's time. He is never in a hurry is He? But we always are, maybe because we are so aware of time passing. I can't believe that it has been a month. I am thinking of it as a month of "inner healing" for Jacob and for you, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Also, a month of preparation for the long haul still ahead. "He has made all things beautiful in their time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:11
Nancy T.