Sunday, July 19, 2009

grip of grace

I find myself having a hard time moving forward today. Debbie just called me from the hospital and told me she signed a paper for a tracheoctomy. Sorry if I spelled it wrong. When she called I was looking at an entry I wrote back in May on my own blog that I never posted. Made some changes...thought I would share...finding myself feeling angry this morning...drained by all of this...Robbie put it well when he said our family is incomplete. I was thinking the same thing last night when we were lying on the bed - could not stop the tears - I had no words to pray. Comforted by the knowledge that so many others are praying - believing that God is able and yet so impotent in my belief.
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I fall on my back, exhausted, gripped by fear
this burden I face is more than I can bear
Forgotten, alone, in this season of pain
I would call out again but you forgot my name

Lord, I beg you please, stop this plague
It grips my heart, it won't let go
I don't get it Lord...so many are praying
Your people are crying out
Why won't you heal - why won't you answer
How can you do this to those who love you

We have seen miracles but not nearly enough
You healed a leper completely - a withered hand restored
you raised a cripple - a woman who would not stop bleeding
Lazarus was raised from the dead
What of this young boy - an innocent son
Where is grace in this moment?

And yet I wait...I call...I hope...I plea
Shine your glory, pour out mercy,
I wait on you, hold me, hide me, restore my faith
Steadfast, I remain, in your grip of grace

Your grip holds more power than I can imagine
Your grip abounds beyond my plea my childish hope
Your hand stops a sea, alters a mountain, forms a valley
Your hand created the first Adam - led the second to cross
Your hand suffered in the very hands that you created
Hysterical, murderous, foolish hands pierced your hands
Your grip appeared to weaken but never did - uncontained by the grave

Magnificent, Holy, too wonderful for me
I do not deserve your grip of grace
Sin forgiven, washed clean, I see
Holy, magnificent, wonderful face

In your hands, o Lord, I release my hold
trusting, hoping, loving your touch
your grip is not easy but the burden is light
for freedom is found in your grip of grace

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Wake up, Wake up my son and behold the face of those who love you.

Tom

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dear Tom, Debbie, Robbie and Jensen,
My heart has been especially heavy for you today, and now I've talked to Debbie and she has lightened my heart! How does that work?
I am so glad that the Reynolds have been spending time with you. I can't think of anyone I'd recommend more. Blessings on them.
We pray all the time for all of you, thanks for the effort put into the blogs.
Love and prayers, Tom and Nancy Toombs